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Les Poissons (Pete version)
Inside the dining room table, Kristoff, Aqua, Gogo, and Kimi were standing near the window, looking out into the distance. While Mario was seated at the large table, beginning to clean his pipe, Kristoff, Aqua, Gogo, and Kimi were waiting patiently for Anna, Hans, Hiro, and Tommy to arrive as he tried desperately to reason with the mountaineer, the Keyblade Wielder, teenager, and infant. "Oh, Kristoff, be reasonable with your sisters," said Mario, feeling clearly amused while waving his pipe in the air. "Nice young ladies and gentlemen just don't - swim around rescuing people in the middle of the ocean and then - flutter off into oblivion, like some -" Kristoff cut him off. "I'm tellin' you, Mario, she was REAL!" he said. "I'm gonna find that boy." said Gogo. "And I'm gonna marry him." said Kimi. "Kimi, you're too young to get married yet," said Aqua. "You're 1½ years old. You have to be 16 years or older to get married." She put her left hand over her chin, gazing out the glass windows. Suddenly, laughter was heard from behind him. He turned his head to see the lover with the waitress. "Come on, darlings." said a voice, "Don't be shy." It was Peach. She stood by the door frame, guiding the lovers into the dining room. Out of the shadows came Anna, Hans, Hiro, and Tommy. Anna was now wearing a hot pink dress with periwinkle-blue glitter (similar to Jessica Rabbit's dress), blue opera gloves, and magenta shoes. Hans was now wearing a British guard uniform that consists of a red shirt with gold trimming, dark blue pants with gold lining, a white belt with a gold buckle, a tall, fuzzy black hat, and black shoes. Hiro was now wearing a white dress shirt, a red tuxedo jacket, matching trousers, a dark blue tie, black shoes, and a white rose on the left side of his jacket. Tommy was now wearing a royal prince's uniform that consists of a light blue shirt with gold trimming, white pants with gold lining, a purple belt with a gold buckle, and green boots. All of these were new looks for Anna and her brothers, and they showed that they were being treated well by the servants. Kristoff and his sisters' eyes widened as Mario walked up behind the prince and princesses. "Oh, children, aren't they visions?" asked Mario. The grins they had were never slipping off their faces. Kristoff, Aqua, Gogo, and Kimi's mouths hung open. But they closed their mouths and swallowed, feeling somewhat nervous. "You look - wonderful." Kristoff stammered. "You look like my dream prince." said Aqua. "You look like you're ready for the prom." added Gogo. "And you, you look like a dream come true." Kimi agreed. "Well, I am a prince after all." smiled Hans. "I do look like I'm ready for the prom, don't I?" asked Hiro. "I'm glad you think so." said Tommy. Only Anna, unable to say, "Thank you," replied with a gentle blush, she shrugged her shoulders, appreciating the nice comment, a smile on her face as her turquoise eyes looked up from behind her strawberry-blonde hair. Kristoff, Aqua, Gogo, and Kimi blushed a light pink as Mario helped Kristoff and his sisters into their chairs, quite enthusiastic, but not before giving the young princes and princess a light nudge. Kristoff , Aqua, Gogo, and Kimi pursed their lips, but grinned nonetheless. "Come come come, you must be famished. Let me help you my dears. There we go - ah - quite comfy?" He helped the princess and princes into their seats. Kristoff, Aqua, Gogo, and Kimi tucked the chairs under the table as the Norwegian girl, the Prince of the Southern Isles, the Japanese boy, and the baby boy sat down. "Uh, it's...it's not often that we have such lovely dinner guests, eh, children?" Anna wasn't playing attention anymore. She was too intrigued by the glistening silver 'dinglehopper' resting on the table. With a wide smile, she picked up the shiny object and began brushing her hair with it. She looked up to face a confused Hans, Hiro, Tommy, Kristoff, Aqua, Gogo, and Kimi and a horrified Mario. Anna delicately placed the 'dinglehopper' back on the table and looked down in embarrassment. She bit her lip and looked up as she saw Mario using a lighter to ignite the coppery thing that Anna, Hans, Hiro, and Tommy understood as a 'snarfblatt'. Mario kindly smiled at her, and handed her his pipe. "Uh, do you like it?" he asked, "It is a rather fine..." Mario stopped in mid-sentence when the Norwegian girl blew into the pipe as if it was a trumpet, sending a cloud of smoke spurting out the top and straight into his face. Hans, Hiro, Tommy, Kristoff, Aqua, Gogo, and Kimi cracked up with laughter while Peach gave a small giggle. "Oh, my!" she exclaimed. Aqua cleared her throat, trying to regain composure. "Ahem. We're sorry, Mario." Peach smiled, placing a hand on the young woman's shoulder. "Why, Aqua," she said. "That's the first time I've seen you, your siblings, and the girl's brothers smile in weeks." Anna looked up from the table and smiled. "Oh, very amusing," said Mario, as he used a handkerchief to wipe the last bit of smoke of his face and sniffed. "Peach, my dear, what's for dinner?" "Oooh, you're gonna love it!" Peach smiled. "Chef's been fixing his specialty, roast squirrel!" Eddie poked his head out from behind a sugar bowl and gasped upon seeing the chef of a French kitchen. He was a big, fat cat with back fur, a shaven peach muzzle, a black nose, and two white buckteeth. He wears white gloves, a salmon-colored dress shirt, a burgundy-and-black striped tie, forest green pants, black shoes, a white chef's hat, and a matching apron. His name was Pete Pete, the French chef of the kitchen. Pete rummaged through a cupboard. Singing in French to himself, he hummed to himself as he took a basket of trout and putting one on a counter. With his food ready, the fat cat chef started singing. Pete: Les poissons Les poissons How I love '''les poissons' ''Love to chop And to serve little fish Grabbing the trout from the basket, Pete pulled out a cleaver and violently chopped off its head. This shocked Eddie horribly. Horrified that this was happening, Eddie hid his face. Pete: First I cut off their heads Then I pull out the bones Ah mais oui Ca c'est toujours delish Taking out another trout, Pete took the cleaver and violently chopped off its head then proceeded to skin it and gut it while Eddie leaned against a wall and covered his mouth, feeling quite sick, feeling as if he may want to throw up. Pete: Les poissons Les poissons Hee hee hee Hah hah hah With the cleaver I hack them in two Taking out another trout, Pete again chopped its head and then chopped the rest of the body into tiny pieces. Eddie tried getting away, but he found himself face to face with the trout's head. Pete: I pull out what's inside And I serve it up fried Cause I love little fishes'' Don't you? After cutting the trout's head off, Pete pulled out the insides of the trout and cooked it on a frying pan before serving it on a plate. Spotting a large lettuce leaf, Eddie grabbed the leaf and used it to disguise himself as he slowly scuttled away from an unsuspecting chef, who is too absorbed into his little fish hacking mania but Pete took a mallet and began smashing a tuna flat. Pete: Here's something for tempting the palate Prepared in the classic technique First you pound the fish flat with a mallet When Pete pounded the tuna flat with the mallet, Eddie flew off the counter along with other stuff on it. He hid again under the lettuce before hearing more gross stuff from Pete's preparations for the tuna. Pete: Then you slash through the skin Give the belly a slice Then you rub some salt in 'Cause that makes it taste nice When Pete was describing those horrid moves, Eddie cringed even more. Just after Pete put the salt on he rather was holding the fish body close to his cheek, Eddie worst fear was confirmed when the cook reached out and grabbed the lettuce leaf, leaving him exposed. The small squirrel kept perfectly still as the chef gasped, "Zut alors!" exclaimed Pete, "I have missed one!" He picked up the 'dead' squirrel and continued singing, Pete: ''Sacre bleu'' What is this? How on earth could I miss Such a sweet little succulent squirrel? ''Quel dommage'' What a loss Here we go In the sauce Now some flour I think just a spurt Pete tossed Eddie into a bowl of sauce and threw a spot of flour in his face, making him cough and sneeze before pulling him out and stuffing some breadcrumbs in his mouth. Pete: Now I stuff you with bread It don't hurt 'cause you're dead And you're certainly lucky you are Eddie spat out the breadcrumbs and wheezed loudly. Pete didn't notice that the squirrel in his hand was still alive. Pete: 'Cause it's gonna be hot In my big silver pot Toodle loo ''Mon poisson'' ''Au revoir!''' Pete threw Eddie across the room into a large pot of boiling water. Eddie held on to the inside of the pot before a bubble popped, burning him out of the pot and onto the counter with a loud thud. Pete, hearing the 'thud', looked over to it being confused. He used a pitchfork-like utensil and stabs on either side of the squirrel, picking up Eddie and carefully inspected it. "What is this?" he asked. Eddie bit Pete's nose, making him scream in pain as he held his nose. Eddie landed on the handle of a pan on the stove. Pete reached for the fox, but instead put his hand on the fiery hot stove. The chef screamed and blew on his hand as the pan fell onto his foot. Pete grabbed his foot and cried in pain, before sending Eddie an angry glare, grabbing a bunch of knives and hurling them at the squirrel. Eddie, who ducked each knife, dove under the counter, and while the chef was looking under the counter, Eddie pushed the bowl of sauce off the counter. The bowl shattered on his head. Going more insane, Pete lifted his cleaver and brought it down. But all he managed to chop up was the counter. He saw Eddie running rapidly for his life. Eddie screamed as he tried getting out. The cleaver landed right in front of him, stopping him from running that way. He quickly made a mad dash underneath Pete and hid underneath a cabinet of glasses and pottery. Pete screamed, holding his mallet in his hand, Eddie hid as the psychotic chef jumped and crashed into the shelves. Back in the dining room, everyone heard loud crashes coming from the kitchen. Peach, who was pouring drinks for the prince, the princesses, Mario, and their young guests, looked in the direction of the kitchen at the sound of a large crash. "I think I'd better go see what Pete is up to." she said. Once she had excused herself, she hurriedly made her way to the palace kitchen. Back in the kitchen, the insane chef, ripped clothes and all, was tearing apart the cabinet, mindlessly throwing things out of the way trying to find Eddie. "Come out, you little pipsqueak, AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!" he snarled. He continued to tear apart a cupboard. "Pete!" shouted Peach. He shot up, banging his head on the shelf, causing several new pots and pans to fall or break on the floor, at the sound of Peach's shrill voice. His pants and apron were torn and stained, he only one shoe, his chef's hat was gone, and there was a hole in the elbow of his untucked shirt. "What are you doing?" Peach demanded. Pete stammered about what he was doing earlier. "Well - I - I was just - er, er, I'm sorry, ''madame." he finally said. Peach scowled at the fat cat as he gave her an apologetic grin and pinched out a fire that had started on top of his head. Peach picked up the plates - which all had a metal dome over the top - off a nearby bench, and storming out the kitchen. "Well, I never!" she exclaimed in disgust. Mario set his glass back on the table as Peach placed their dinners in front of him, Kristoff, Aqua, Gogo, Kimi, Anna, Hans, Hiro, and Tommy. "You know, Kristoff," he said. "perhaps our young guests might enjoy seeing some of the sights of the kingdom. Something in the way of a tour?" Kristoff, Aqua, Gogo, and Kimi simply sat there, staring at Anna, Hans, Hiro, and Tommy with lovestruck expressions on their faces. Realizing that Mario had said something to them, they snapped out of their daze. Kristoff let out a small chuckle and looked at Mario. "I'm sorry, Mario." he said, "What was that?" Mario leaned over to the mountaineer and his sisters and whispered to them, "You can't spend all your time moping about, you need to get out. Do something, have a life. Get your mind off-" As Mario complained, he opened his dish, and Eddie was huddled inside. Anna, Hans, Hiro, and Tommy noticed Eddie and became worried. Eddie quietly shushed the worried Norwegian girl, who opened her dish and urged for Eddie to quickly hide in hers. "Easy, Mario, easy." said Aqua. "It's not a bad idea. If they're interested." added Gogo. As the five chatted, Eddie quickly and quietly dashed across the table and hid in Anna's dish. With Eddie safe, Anna and her brothers quickly turned to Kristoff and his sisters. "Well, what do you say?" asked Kimi. "Would you like to join us on a tour of our kingdom tomorrow?" Tommy smiled broadly. "Sure, Kimi. I'd like that!" he said and nodded, genuinely excited by the prospect and also internally relieved, along with Anna, Hans, and Hiro. "Wonderful!" beamed Mario. "Now let's eat, before this squirrel wanders off my plate." He looked down, only to be confused that Eddie had just run off his plate. Dinner got carried on into the evening long after the sun had set and afterwards, Anna, Hans, Hiro, Tommy, Kristoff, Aqua, Gogo, Kimi, and Mario went their separate ways. Anna and her brothers were now dressed in their nightclothes as they watched Kristoff and his sisters play with Sven from the balcony. Anna was now wearing a light pink silk nightgown with puffy sleeves and matching accessories (bloomers, a camisole with a pink bow on the chest, two matching hair-bows, and matching slippers). Hans was now wearing a white flannel nightshirt with long sleeves, matching cotton leggings, and matching socks. Hiro was now wearing a set of light blue pajamas that consists of a long-sleeved jacket with buttons and pants. Tommy was now wearing green footy pajamas with snaps, a lighter green collar and wrists, and smooth white soles, While Kristoff was still dressed in his regular day clothes from dinner, his sisters were also dressed in their nightwear. Aqua was now wearing a warm, light mint-turquoise flannel nightgown, periwinkle-blue bloomers, a stylish blue bathrobe, and matching slippers. Gogo was now wearing blue pajamas with teddy bears on them and polar bear slippers. Kimi was now wearing baby pink footy pajamas with yellow stars, a zipper, and smooth baby pink soles. "Come here boy!" Kristoff laughed to Sven, "Arrr!!!" He knelt on the ground and Sven ran up to him bleating. Kristoff growled playfully at the white horse as he pinned Kimi down. She and her older siblings looked up and smiled when they saw that the young woman, the handsome prince, the teenage boy, and the baby they'd found on the beach that day, watching. Kimi waved at Tommy, and he waved back, before slipping further back with his older siblings into their room. Kristoff, Aqua, Gogo, and Kimi's eyes sparkled as their smiles widened. They were actually really looking forward to taking them around their kingdom tomorrow, and could only hope that they felt the same way. Anna smiled as she brushed her untied hair with her fork before putting her hair-bows back in her hair. Eddie (now wearing a red long-sleeved pajama jacket, matching pants, and a nightcap) complained about his experience in the kitchen as he cleaned off the cooking spices. "This has got to be, without a doubt, the single most humiliating day of my life." he complained. Tommy patted Eddie on the head as Anna picked him up and carried him to his bed. "I hope you and your brothers appreciate what I go through for you, young lady!" scolded the squirrel, as he waved his lettuce leaf at Anna while she placed Tommy in his bed. Tommy's bed was a blue racing car bed with a creamy mattress and two matching pillows. There were two scarlet red pillowcases covering the pillows. On the mattress, there was were scarlet red bedsheets to match the pillowcases. Tucked inside the racing car bed was a warm, fuzzy navy blue blanket on top of the bedsheets. Anyway, Anna tucked Tommy in and kissed him on the forehead. Hiro was was already in his bed - a single bed with a white matress and matching mahogany bedposts (with a headboard of the same color and material). His head was resting on only one white pillow. The pillow was covered with one gray pillowcase. Hiro's body was covered by gray bedsheets and a warm, fuzzy red blanket on top of the bedsheets. Anna walked over to her bed, where Hans was sleeping on the right side. Anna and Hans' bed was a large canopy bed with coral-pink mattresses & matching bedsheets & pillows, large fuschia curtains (with golden draw-tassels) on all four sides (attached to the fuschia canopy), fuschia blankets, white linens, a warm, fuzzy pink blanket, & reddish-brown mahogany bedposts (with a headboard of the same color & material). Anyway, Eddie told Anna, "Now, we've got to make a plan to get that mountaineer and his sisters to kiss you." She opened the curtains, and bounced a little before settling back into the large pillow on the left side of the canopy bed and crawled under the covers. "Tomorrow, when they take you for that ride, you gotta look your best." said Eddie. Anna lay in her bed. It was very comfy and warm. It was a nice place for her and Hans to sleep for the night. "You're gonna bat your eyes - like this," Eddie went on, as he batted his eyes and puckered his lips. "You gotta pucker up your lips - like this." But by now, he realized that Anna, Hans, Hiro, and Tommy were already fast asleep. Eddie shook his head and smiled. "Hm." He blew out the candle on the bed side table. He closed the curtains, hopped onto one of Tommy's pillows, and before falling asleep himself, he said, "You and your brothers are hopeless, child. You know that?" He yawned and closed his eyes as Tommy covered him up with his navy blue blanket. "Completely hopeless!" And with that, Anna, Hans, Hiro, Tommy, and Eddie all fell asleep for the night. Category:Fan Fiction Category:Songs Category:Hero/Heroine Songs Category:The Little Mermaid Fanfiction Category:The Little Mermaid Fanmakes Category:The Little Mermaid Movie Spoofs Category:The Little Mermaid Movies Category:The Little Mermaid Parodies Category:The Little Mermaid Spoofs